I am pretty sure I am a bad feminist because all I want is a baby. Seriously. That’s it. All I want in the world is to be a mommy. I know there are other things I have to do to get to that point, but what I want is a baby. A mommy is the only thing I have ever consistently wanted to be since I was a little girl.
It was comical how much I wanted babies as a kid. My grandma’s allergist who I haven’t seen since I was like nine still remembers that I used to say I wanted a hundred babies. Oh, and if you said my dolls weren’t babies, I would freak out and sometimes cry.
All I want right now is a baby. Of course, Josh (my husband!!!) and I know that having a baby in a one-bedroom duplex is kind of out of the question right now. Especially because we’re still worrying about having enough money for groceries. Our goal for savings is having enough money that we can have a baby in two or three years. That is our goal.
I feel so lucky to have found someone who wants a baby just as much as I do. He’s so sweet, and I know he’s going to be a great daddy. I just wonder if I’m the only girl who has these kinds of ridiculous maternal inklings. It’s not something I really hear a whole lot about. I’m really curious. Send responses to sugarplumfairy68@gmail.com.
Are we less maternal as a culture than we used to be? Or does it happen later in life now? Or is it just something we’re too ashamed to admit a lot of the time?
I’m currently looking for a job and have been looking on monster, careerbuilder, and even craigslist. I know craigslist is sometimes used by scam artists, but I know smaller companies often used it because posting is cheap. Well, evidently it is also used by perverts.
I sent my resume to an ad asking for a personal assistant and asked for more information about the job. I thought the person posting the ad wanted someone to photocopy, fax, and run errands. The poster had said they would like someone who could cook, but that seemed fine as I like to cook. He asked for someone friendly, which is normal. Well, here’s what I received in response to my emailed resume:
Now, once that you’ve gotten past the awful punctuation, the repeats, and the spelling errors, I’m sure you’re appalled. Seriously. Seriously? He wants me to come into his house at any time and give him massages and “anything else.” I’m pretty sure that counts as prostitution, yes? And for $10 an hour? I’m not trying to sound conceited, but if I wanted to be a hooker, I’m pretty sure I could get more than $10 an hour. If I sent him a resume detailing my job history, why is he asking me to come to his house with a mini-skirt and no panties!?! I am appalled and disgusted. Who does that? There’s a whole other section for adult gigs, so why did he post that on the actual job page? I’m really hoping it was just some jerkface pulling a practical joke, but something tells me it was serious. Maybe it’s my lack of faith in humanity…
I have a friend who once said that Glee’s writing was awful and that the script only served to showcase the actors’ talent. He said that the only reason it was even a scripted show was because it wasn’t 1970 and variety shows just weren’t hip anymore. He needs to watch “Home.”
Normally, I’m not very big on over-analyzing TV shows, but sometimes it just has to be done. The episode was a huge downer. There was only one fairly upbeat song, “Fire.” The rest were hugely depressing, especially Kurt’s performance of “A House Is Not a Home.” Like I said, it was good, but extremely depressing when positioned against last week’s “Power of Madonna” episode.
Despite all the sadness though, the theme of “home” was examined in so many ways throughout the episode. First, Finn had issues with his mother moving out the old furniture that had been in their home since before his father’s death, and he is incredibly distraught when she talks about removing his father’s chair. He wants his home to remain intact and views Kurt’s father as a threat. Kurt wants to create a new home with his father, Finn’s mother, and Finn. This doesn’t go as well as Kurt had hoped, resulting in his own extreme jealousy of Finn’s relationship with his father.
Second, Will is shown adjusting to life alone. This is the first time he’s seemed distraught about his separation from Terri. While it was depressing, it was an important character development. He and April Rhodes (played excellently by Kristen Chenoweth) both bond over their lack of a home and companionship.
The most interesting use of the “home” theme was Mercedes’s story line for the week. Last episode, she and Kurt joined the Cheerios. As Sue is about to be interviewed by a magazine, she tells Mercedes she needs to lose ten pounds before the interviewer arrives and be willing to wear a “gender-appropriate” cheerleading uniform. Quinn tells Mercedes that she’s always been at home in her body and shouldn’t let Sue make her feel ashamed. This leads to Mercedes singing “beautiful” at the pep rally.*
My favorite plot of the night was Mercedes trying to lose weight. While Margaret at Jezebel thought that it was odd that Mercedes went from being so confident in her body to hating it then back to confidence, I liked the arc.** It showed that even the most confident girls can be brought down easily by criticism, especially from someone they admire. It would have been unrealistic if Mercedes had deflected the criticism from Sue easily. She is a teenage girl, and of course she will be sensitive about her body. As for her quick recovery, it’s a show. Wrapping it up tidily allows for the inspirational message to be easily digested.
Mercedes tries to lose weight in a healthy manner first then realizes how far she has to go so quickly. She stops eating and ends up fainting. Quinn speaks to her in the nurse’s station and tells her that she understands. Since the pregnancy, she’s been eating better to nourish the baby and realizes that she should have been more willing to support her own system the same way. I found this extremely interesting since two episodes ago, Puck made a crack about her eating habits. I like that Quinn has become more likable, by the way.
A part I thought should have been addressed better was Sue’s ipecac-laced concoction. In “Hell-O,” I’d wondered how Santana and Brittany had eaten so much pasta; then in the Madonna episode, Santana had craved hamburgers. The girls are actually bulimic, a theme also brought up when Rachel was trying to induce vomiting. I really wish the writers would tackle the issue in a more serious way though. Right now, binging and purging is being played for laughs. True, the way they handled the issue was funny. I laughed, but I feel like there should have been some serious discussion about eating disorders. “The girls make themselves throw up. Silly girls. Haha” route isn’t enough.
So many girls have gone through binges and purges in their lives. I know I have, and I’ve been entertaining the notion of discussing it seriously once I feel more comfortable. The show is watched by so many girls, and it seems like the perfect venue to seriously discuss the implications of eating disorders without coming across as cliche. Hell, the serious discussion could be played for laughs too as long as the message got out there that making yourself throw up is not healthy. Have an ex-Cheerio come back with no teeth and a transplanted esophagus. Make her fat. After a few months of throwing up most of my food, I ballooned up. Make her bald with damaged knuckles. Don’t just show the pretty girls doing it. Make it funny, just don’t glamorize it.
I’m off my soapbox now. On a way less serious note, I am seriously freaking out becuase Josh and I don’t have cable at our place yet. I go back next week and won’t be able to watch! Eek!
*I found the performance to be kind of lacklustre. Her voice just doesn’t have the rich layers that one hears in Celine Dion, Leona Lewis, Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Hudson, or her costar Lea Michele. She does awesome on songs with loud music to support her, but without it, her voice sounds a little hollow.
**If you want to see a gallery and synopsis, check out the Jezebel post: http://jezebel.com/5526704/glee-eating-disorders—incestuous-gay-hookups/gallery/
btw, I know that the picture isn’t from this episode…
"The Problem With Ugliness"--An Incredible Piece -
I was on Jezebel this afternoon and ran across a piece called “The Problem with Ugliness.” I was intrigued because it touched on an issue I so often ponder. Who decides who’s pretty? Do ugly people know they’re ugly? Are some people just gross? I loved it. I think everyone should read it. Seriously. Everyone.
It has been forever since I posted anything because I just moved into my first ever house with my husband! I am married! I am in a cute little house with my husband! Well, not right this second because I am at school for exam week. In three days, I will be back at home though.
In my entire life, I have never felt this incredibly happy before. Ever. I spent every day from Friday to Tuesday with him, well except when he was at work. We went to the grocery store together, cooked dinner together, brushed our teeth together. Everything that we had to do, we did together! I can’t believe how lucky I am right now. I am so in love!
Prior to this weekend, I had no idea that married life would be so super fun! We didn’t even have furniture the first night, and we had so much fun just camping out. As of right now, a rubbermade bin is our table and nightstand; for two days, it was a chair. Things aren’t perfect, but I feel so happy. I just had to gush!!!
Josh is so amazing. I feel so lucky to be with him. We can talk about anything (really). We think all of each other’s jokes are funny. We’re laughing all the time. When he is home, we’re never apart. He is so sweet and thoughtful too! I’ll explain more about all of his wonderful qualities later. Swoon. <3
In an ideal world, no one would talk about other people’s sexual mores. I have tried so many times to stop talking shit about other people because I know it is a negative habit. Every time I tried to stop, I couldn’t though. So I’ve decided to come up with a new goal for myself. I will only slut-shame people who REALLY deserve it. Totally brilliant right? So…now I will discuss who really deserves it.
I have been cheated on by the three boyfriends I have ever had.* All three of them waited until we’d been dating over a year to do it, and each instance was worse than the last. Every time, it has been with a girl who I viewed as less-than-amazing in the morals department. All of them cheated with girls who had more sexual partners than me; in the most recent instance, the girl had been with at least seven times more people than me. She had sex with my boyfriend after having known him for a week and knowing he had a girlfriend. Sure, my boyfriends in all of these scenarios was the one who wronged me. And sure, these random girls didn’t owe me anything. That doesn’t make them less whorish. Every person who KNOWINGLY has sex with someone else’s partner should be slut-shamed. Any person who has sex with someone else while they are in a relationship should be slut-shamed more.
I say person because men and women should be equally slut-shamed. I don’t believe in double standards, people. I don’t. No one should be skeezy, and the standards of skeez are the same for men and women in my book.
From this day forward though, I will not talk badly about random girls who sleep with random guys or vice-versa or girls with girls or boys with boys or whatever. I won’t say anything about people who have accumulated numerous sexual partners unless during their pursuit of an orgasm, they hurt someone else. If you want to have sex with 9000 people a year, that’s your own business, unless you knowingly hurt someone else. Then, you’re a slut, and I will discuss your varied sexual history and present it as evidence of your character because once you start knowingly causing other people pain, it is.
That being said, here are a list of acceptable people to slut-shame:
Famous:Jesse James, Michelle McGee, Jesse James’s Other Tattooed Skanks, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods’s Hos
Non-Famous: Lyndsay S. from Evansville, Indiana who fucked my boyfriend in Pensacola, Florida**, Ashley J. from Chesapeake, Virginia who kissed the first boyfriend I ever had, Emilie C. from Chesapeake, Virginia who at the very least made out with my boyfriend, All three of the dumbasses who cheated on me
Quick Review: It is OK to slut-shame people that hurt you or people you care about or anyone, really, that you know of. It is not OK to slut-shame that random girl from your building who has a different guy over every week. I think the world will be a better place if we only slut-shame the people that really deserve it. Otherwise, it’s less effective. And remember that guys deserve it too!
*It has taken me a long time to admit this because even now I view the infidelities as my own fault (after all, there are 3 of them), but we’ll go into that in a later post.
**She’s actually a pretty nice girl. She told me the truth about him when he wouldn’t. Niceness doesn’t absolve her skankdom though. Sorry.
Margaret Atwood's "Happy Endings" -
One of my favorite short stories
What I'm Cooking Tonight (World's Greatest Apple Dumplins) -
Yummy Yummy Apple Dumplins! The recipe sounds strange (there’s mountain dew involved), but it is seriously amazing stuff! :)
“Have you ever felt that something is so impossible that it’s barely even real to you at all? Or felt that something is so far away that you can dismiss the possibility of its ever reaching you, and in doing so, dismiss the possibility of its existence before you even consider it possible? I suppose if I had a crush on Greg, that would be the type of crush I would have. As in, ‘Yeah, right.’” — Doormat by Kelly McWilliams
I am a huge, huge fan of Lady Gaga. In my admiration, I do not go to the lengths that some do in calling her a genius, but I love her music simply because it’s so catchy and makes me want to dance. I also thought she was a wonderful role model in a skanky, Christina Aguilera during her “Dirrrty” phase kind of way. Quotes like this made me love her: “The last thing a young woman needs is another picture of a sexy pop star writhing in sand, covered in grease, touching herself. My image was an issue at my record label. I fought for months and cried at meetings. I got criticized for being arrogant because if you’re sure of yourself as a woman they say you’re a bitch whereas if you’re a man and you’re strong-willed it’s normal.”* She seemed like such an amazing difference from other pop stars, so separated from the cultural industry system…until I saw “Telephone.”
Now, I should be upfront and say that I am not a music video person. With the exception of Michael Jackson videos, I think they’re stupid (plus, seeing what musicians actually look like really really bothers me). Lady Gaga’s videos are great though, really stunning visual artwork. “Telephone” really, really bothered me though. It wasn’t just the over-the-top, super obvious product placement, though that got annoying after a while. It wasn’t the fact that it was ten minutes long…though that too irked me. It wasn’t the freaky poisoning that reminded me of “Paparazzi.” It wasn’t even the fact that it made no goddamn sense.
What really, really bothered me was the sexual objectification of women. The quote I just cited above was the first thing I thought of when I saw her dancing in a g-string. This was not empowering. It was not some feminist statement. This was Lady Gaga, my feminist icon, dancing in her panties and objectifying herself. I wanted to cry. Seriously. I’ll write more about this later, I’m sure. Right now, I’m just kind of sad. I can’t believe such a strong woman has been reduced to a stripper in her own music video…
*from http://perezhilton.com/2010-02-26-quote-of-the-day-701